my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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