well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
