no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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