youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
