I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Randomize
