You just made me feel so damn special
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
