he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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