And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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