you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
