I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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