he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
