I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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