Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
