so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
