dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
