ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
