Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
