You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
