The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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