super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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