Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
