Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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