ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
