Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
