Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
