I CAN MOONWALK!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
