I seem to have left my pride at pride
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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