is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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