my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
