Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize