I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
