I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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