you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
