So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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