whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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