physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
