Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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