I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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