Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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