Your dad touched me again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
