why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
