I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
