I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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