I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
