he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize