So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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