eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize