just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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