i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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