i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
