Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
