Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
