Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

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(941): View more from Florida

Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

(1-941): View more from Florida

That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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(407): View more from Florida

Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.

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