They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am one with the molecules
Randomize