I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
