That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
