The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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