He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize