I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
