I want to walk on stilts...naked
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Duck Duck Cougar?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
