I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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